One Fine Day

Today was one of those days that you think about when you can't see the sun through the clouds. Sofia woke up early and wouldn't settle, even with a bottle, so I brought her to our bed and she drifted off again until 8:40! It is pretty unheard of to get any chance to sleep in with a toddler so that was bliss. I woke up again before Sofia or Marco and revelled in a moment of pure luxury. Sofia had cuddled right up to me and had her little arms cradled around my chest. Marco slept peacefully next to us. It was dark and warm. Perfect.

After the mad rush to get to church, we purposefully ignored the house whining at us about its shoddy state and flew off to mass. It was a children's mass and quite full and chaotic, but there was something about seeing the innocent enthusiasm of the children that brought a lump to my throat that then dissolved into a warmth in my chest. Sofia sat so still on my lap, occasionally snuggling into me. Peace.

Sofia had woken up a lot later than usual so we decided to shift our plans around so we could fit in with what would be her later nap. We ventured off to Sandton, for the first time with Sofia.  The sun shone cheerfully on us and the Square bustled with cosmopolitan friendliness. Sofia decided that it would be fun to run up and down the stairs and made friends with a little Afrikaans girl a couple of years older than her. Somehow, despite not being able to understand each other, and with Sofia's limited vocabulary, they managed to get along just fine, even sharing a hug. The little girl giggled, saying Sofia was "oulik". I had to agree. Sofia then made friends with a little boy who had a beautiful french-speaking, African mommy. He had a little trouble sharing his toys until an impromptu football tussle spontaneously erupted between Sofia, the little boy and the passersby who intercepted the ball for a brief moment on their way to whatever retail endeavours they were pursuing. Priceless.

Sofia drifted peacefully to sleep in her pram after that and Marco and I enjoyed a leisurely stroll though the shops, pausing every now and then to slowly deplete Marco's birthday voucher, which was the reason for the trip.

We were enroute to buy ice-creams at Milky Lane after Sofia woke, when she managed to find a 60 piece Dora the Explorer art pack and erupted in squeals of delight, prompting me to buy it right then. What am I going to do when she's older? I can't just give in to her unbridled enthusiasm every time she wants something! We finally left Sandton, ice-creams in hand and a lot more heavily laden than when we had arrived.

We continued our epic day at Marco's father's house. He was busy in the garden and we all pottered around, Sofia running around in only a nappy. I found myself in Marco's old room with photo albums in hand and my elation from the day slowly quietened as I paged through photo after happy photo from the '90's. My heart swelled with sadness as I looked at Marco's beautiful mother who has left us, so full of life and healthy, blissfully unaware of the treacherous leukaemia that would grip her a few short years later. The usual regrets, questions, sadness and disappointment flitted in and out of my mind as I absorbed a happier time that the love of my life had lived.

We attacked the house when we finally arrived home. I think we finally feel like this is home, as we allowed it to get into a state of chaos only seen in our previous cottage. As Marco and I busied ourselves, serenaded by Adele (who is frikken AWESOME!), Sofia 'helped' us by unpacking her 'cooking set' and relocating and rearranging it in each room we moved to.

As I lay cuddling her on my bed in our usual post-bath ritual, I felt exhaustion and peace wash over me as I was suddenly overwhelmed by God's grace and goodness. I have fought through a dark underwater prison over the last year, and I am now finally feeling free.

I may succumb again, but it will not be for a lack of fighting to find the light.

Today, the Light found me.

Thank You.

The very first time La Blogs for God

Have you ever been standing in the kitchen, cooking, with your toddler singing along to 'Dora the Explorer', and every second thought that flits through your head is followed up with how you would phrase it on Facebook? Only me, then? Well I realised, after this happened a few times, that I should probably find a place where I can voice these thoughts - even if I'm the only one who reads them afterwards!

So here I am, on 'La Blogs for God'.

A lot of the time, my posts will probably be about my rambling thoughts that need a place to go at the end of the day, what with me being a working mom, wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, friend, daughter-in-law etc. As you might imagine, my brain gets pretty full and (now I reveal that I am a closet nerd...) I often feel like I need a Pensieve. Well 'La Blogs for God', you may not require a wand to work and you may not be situated in an impressive cabinet in an impressive office, but you will do just fine.

So why 'La Blogs for God'? A long time ago, I decided that I would pursue and develop all my talents to build my career, but I decided that my music would always be for God. I feel like any musical gifts I might have are from Him, and, quite simply, the only way I know to thank Him is to use the gifts He gave me to offer Him glory. It is for this reason that I chose my Twitter name to be @la_singsforgod, and so the title for this blog naturally followed.

So here I am.

If anyone other than me reads this, God bless you and I hope you glean some insight from this cyber transplant of the inner workings of my mind.